Breaking the cycle

I have mentioned before, in various ways, that while making a cake I have (at least) a moment where things go pear shaped, dramas happen, and I have a small litter of kittens. So far, I have always managed to resolve said issues and come out with something I am happy to hand over.

This week I had two cakes, both due today.... do I still have hair you ask? I am rather sleepy and things aren't making complete sense in my brain... I've rewritten most of the sentences I've written so far. To my complete surprise and amazement, I have for the very first time, broken the cycle!!! Two cakes and zero drama.... I am mildly dumbfounded when I stop to think about it.

I won't harp on any longer about how fabulous it was to make two cakes in one week and not experience any form of craziness throughout the process. I had been under the impression that this was going to be a fairly set and consistent part of each cake... I was even becoming quite accepting of it.

I have three cakes coming up in March, so it will be interesting to see if drama is still my uncomfortable friend or I have broken through to a new realm of my adventures... hmmm.

Now for the fun part, here are the cakes of the hour:

Cake 12.02.2011

I've been trying to think of how to break down this fairly epic event (in my world anyway). It all started out with my arrival up on the Takaka Hill I guess, my plan being to spend the week there making my cousin's wedding cake.

Timing is everything with such a large cake (which I made larger by deciding to make it five tiers... just one extra tinsy tier). You want to leave everything as late as possible so its nice and fresh, but not so long that you're having kittens the night before trying to get it all done.

Before I begin though I must immediately give the highest and deepest of thanks/praise/gratitude to my family who were all there while I made this cake and all helped me in significant and different ways. Their unwaivering support was incredibly generous and appreciated. My sister lined cake tins, painted leaves and helped me through all forms of dramas, doing what ever was required. My Mum did countless loads of dishes and did what any wonderful parent does.... took a keen interest and told me she is proud of me. My Dad helped with construction, cutting me a wooden board, sizing and cutting dowel and providing advice that helped me get it all just right. Most of all, they all reminded me I was doing a good job when I wasn't sure.

MONDAY
My first full day up on the Hill and I really didn't have too many plans for the cake. In the morning I made some chocolate clay to use to make the roses, but its always is good to leave it a day before you use it, so what a good excuse to not do much. Instead I ended up down in Golden Bay eating Rosy Glow Lime Sour chocolates and visiting with friends.

TUESDAY
First actual day of starting on this cake and it was solely dedicated to making roses. I figured if I had 18-20 of then that would be great and if I could make at least a dozen today that would be a great start. Happily this is exactly how it worked out, I think I made 14 of them while watching movies.... always good to keep the brain slightly preoccupied to stop it from realising its actually not doing much.

WEDNESDAY
Today things got serious.... like baking cakes serious. It was a long day, I started early and thanks to my parents giant oven ended up mixing cake batter in a large preserving pan just to be able to do a large enough volume. I was finding myself measuring out ten cups of flour and cracking in ten eggs for some batches. All in all it was a total of ten cakes cooked in four batches, all baked by about 2pm.

THURSDAY
Today was all about icing and rolling out dark chocolate clay to create the walls on each side of the cake. The smell of warm white chocolate has become one of my least favourite and in fact stopped me from ever wanting to eat white chocolate again. After an epic early morning effort to cover all the cakes in white chocolate ganache, it was straight into the dark chocolate walls. At this point I was fairly exhausted, I hadn't slept a whole lot last night because I kept waking up thinking about the cake. I could feel myself hitting a bit of a wall and was in desperate need of a second wind. My family could sense this and slowly backed away for their own protection... they knew there wasn't a whole lot they could do for me. Later I admitted to them I was doing my best to keep my bitch at bay... successfully I think?

FRIDAY
The day before the wedding and really time to get things finished because tomorrow would be an early start and there would be no time for any last work on the cake. Once again, up early and this time to start adding golden vines to the sides of the cake and finish off the chocolate roses like I had been meaning to for a couple of days.

I knew I was making progress but it was getting to the point where all I wanted was the cake to be finished and set up so I could see it and know it was going to be good enough. It gets hard to appreciate what you're getting done when all you want to do is see it complete to stop any anxiety that it might not turn out the way you want it to.
I did however get some good breaks in today, a quick trip to town to visit my friend Vanessa and find some fabulous strawberries for the cake.... thanks Kate for the slightly unnecessary mission out to town to get them! Then later we popped up to Lee and Joshs' for some snacks and drinks in the sun.... I was the dork that brought along my own entertainment in the form of chocolate rose making, but the girls (Laila and Zoe) were there to help, especially with dealing with the chocolate clay offcuts.

SATURDAY... WEDDING DAY!!!!
I had finished (as much as I could anyway), but there was still the rather large hurdle of getting the cakes down the hill and getting it all set up in the marquee. I carefully cleaned out the car boot and packaged all the cakes away in there... emergency supplies and tools in the back seat and we were away.... slowly. I'm fairly sure it was our slowest trip down the hill in history.

This is where the most serious dramas so far were about to start.... brace yourselves. We began unpacking the cakes and moving them into the marquee, I could tell already that it is just going to be too hot in there.... but moving the cake after it is set up is not really an option. We can't open the sides of the tent for fear of too much dust blowing around.... what to do? I am however distracted by this issue when unpacking the last cake I see that a large battery pack (that I didn't notice sitting in a side alcove in the boot of the car) has fallen onto the side of one of my cakes, causing what could be considered a minor car wreck of damage to the chocolate wall and vines. Breathe!!!
I knew I just had to fix it and keep working on getting the cake set up and cool enough. Thankfully I brought my entire trusty tool kit and got to work while Kate took care of getting ready to set the cake up. I think I might have surprised both of us by not having a meltdown over the whole thing.
Cake fixed, tiers all glued together and the strawberries strategically placed... it was complete and finally, after all of it..... I am happy, it is what I had hoped. You have no idea the relief. Not only that, the cake now had its own dedicated fan which is breezing wonderfully cool air over it.

A quick costume change, a quick check on the cake.... and this is where it is so important to trust your instincts.... and I have a concern about the fan only blowing on one side of the cake. But what can I do, there is only one fan, we're on the verge of running late of the ceremony, so I just leave it as it is.... I should have listened.

As soon as I arrive at the reception (filled with wedding cheer) my aunt comes up to me saying my Mum is looking for me.... and its about the cake.... dun dun dun duuuhhhhhhhhhh!!! As I should have known, the side without the fan now has drooping chocolate walls.... tragedy, I thought. But after a 2 minute reconstruct it all seems as good as new, how did I get away with that???? So we switch the fan over and put ice buckets filled with champagne bottles all around the cake.... it finally seems like it will be cool enough and will make it! The big moral of this story is to always think about the conditions your cake will be in.... sometimes it just might not be the right kind of cake for the weather. This time around, we made it work though. So finally, after you have had to read though my monologue of cake highs and lows (unless you are one of those people that just likes to look at the pictures... I respect that), here is the finished product in all its chocolatey glory:

Fanning the cake...

Today's post is brought to you by the letter H

And H is for Holiday! For those observant ones out there, I did not do my usual weekly Sunday post, it is now Tuesday ( I think) and I am only just getting around to it. Despite my holidaying in fabulous Tasman Bay I have been on some fairly significant cake adventures and I certainly did learn a few things regarding the weather and working with large volumes.

Despite spending my first week of holiday making my cousin's wedding cake (which deserves a post all of its own later this week... it was an event in itself) I did manage to do, eat and see some cool things which I figured I might share just for a bit of variety.


One of my favourite places on the planet... the deck of my parents house, and here looking out from it with some interesting clouds and sunshine happening:

And just on a beautiful day (and me showing my face!)....

 Naturally feasting on good eats was also rather prominent and my parents 37th wedding anniversary was a great excuse. A generous mother-in-law provided this for the party:

And I ventured into a different style of cake... cheesecake, pumpkin pie cheesecake to be more specific:

Now, it is not a complete trip back to Tasman Bay without a bit of down-the-farm shooting, we even had a good excuse this time with needing to sight in my Dad's new rifle... but that didn't stop everyone having a turn and doing a little skeet shooting as well. I could tell you this next picture is a result of my amazing skill, but really this is courtesy of my husband. I'm pretty good, but not quite this good... shot at 120m:

And as a mild segway into my next post, we went out to my uncles property in Ruby Bay for a pre-wedding BBQ. Here is an evening shot of the marquee and looking out into Tasman Bay.... the colours aren't as fabulous in the picture but you get the idea:

Still another few days to go until we are back in Wellington, but it is set to be more of the same... swimming, sunning, eating and spending time with good peoples. In fact not long and we will be heading over to Golden Bay for dinner at the new Ratanui Lodge which happens to be run by my sister's friend from Alaska.... it is a seriously small and wonderous world.

I will need a quiet moment to gather my thoughts and put something coherent together to describe this last cake experience. I'm excited to show you the pictures of the cake and hope that this post will suffice for now.... see you all again very soon.

Cake 05.02.2011

No need for chit chat today... I present to you, CAKE:

The End.

The 'Oh S%#t' moment

Its been a bit more like an 'Oh S%#t' day or two actually. What does this mean you ask? Well.....

It seems to have become a bit of a constant in my cake creation process. There are many stages in creating a cake (that maybe I'll write about one day), but this is a fairly prominent and sometimes soul destroying (or do we call it character building) one. I may tend to the dramatics in this post when describing this particular roller coaster... but lets not forget, it is a cake... no lives are at risk, just my creative livelihood and general wellbeing (again with the dramatics!). I realise this has some similarities to last week's post.... but rest assured, this is at a whole different level to what I wrote about before. This is when I am coming much closer to the day I hand this cake over and construction has usually begun, like I said, this has become an absolute regular in my cake making process. Maybe one day I will get to leave it behind.... I hope.

In this moment its like I become completely commitment-phobic towards my cake. I question everything; why did I agree to this, why did I decide to go with this design, why did I decide to do it this way, WHY am I making cakes in the first place???!!! I start wondering how I ever thought I could do this. I'm convinced it even effects my ability to create. Case in point, I broke nearly everything I made this morning (don't worry it wasn't too much)... so before I went into a blind rage and smashed everything else I had already made I calmy walked away from the table and watched some reality tv... oh so calming.

By now my confidence is rather shaken and anxiety is my new friend. I truely believe for complete seconds, minutes, even hours that I might not be able to accomplish this. And that is the moment when someone needs to step in, slap me around the face and tell me to pull it together..... OR I need to sit myself down and have this conversations with myself, in my head or out loud, it doesn't matter.

This craziness that goes through my head is not about actually deciding to make the cake, or questioning wanting to do it... I wouldn't have signed up for the task in the first place if I wasn't commited and passionate about it, lets be honest, I wouldn't be here writing this blog at this very moment either. I guess its just part of the creative process. A very wise person once told me that inventors and creators have many, many more failures than they do sucesses... we just don't see that side of things. That infact brings me back to part of the reason that I began this blog in the first place.

In nearly all cases I know when this stage will end. There is usually some form of achievement I have to reach to know it is all going to be ok. I won't give it away for this cake. But its managing to make something or attach something or get it all looking just right before I realise I'm actually doing fine. If all goes to plan, that should be this afternoon... fingers crossed...

P.S. I promise next week there will be pictures... I just needed to vent today, so thank you.

Don't forget to stop and smell the... lilies?

Its Sunday... its raining and cold... we have no milk or bread or flour (unheard of!!!) and I should be heading to the supermarket. But here I am instead, laptop in hand, under a blanket on the couch, and feeling a bit pleased with myself... but more on that later.

Do you ever have that moment where all of a sudden you realised you have a ridiculous amount of things to do over the next week or two? It just hits in that pure moment of clarity and, well.... panic. I do have a tendancy to take on more than is natural for a human being, just for the satisfaction of the results. Is that healthy? No, probably not... my parents, sister, husband, best friends will all tell you so.

But maybe this isn't one of those times if I really think about it. In these moments I have to sit myself down for a serious talk, take a deep breath and I begin to realise its all doable. Its the unknown quantities during that two weeks that I think makes me nervous... what I have to get done, will it work, will it come out the way I want it to? Obviously this pertains a lot to this cake business, especially when it is something I've never done before... mostly I don't know if it is going to work out until its worked out! My current work space (for those who know me) is a testiment to the chaos in my head:

But then theres that fabulous moment when it DOES work out. All of a sudden it feels like there isn't too much to do, its all falling into place... then the sun comes out again, the birds are chirping, theres rainbows and unicorns and fairies and pixies and.... and... you get the picture. It does make me realise, its not about the quantity of tasks, but the unknown outcomes I'm waiting to find out about.

So thats what has happened to me today. I've been working on lilies for a wee while now and today I finally finished my very first one. It is the stereotypical 'first pancake', I know how I can make them better next time, but I have proven to myself that I can actually do this. I present to you my first ever lily:

Moral of today's story.... stop to smell the lilies, enjoy the ride... its never as bad or as crazy or as difficult as it all might seem. Keep trucking everyone!!!

If you were a cake, what flavour would you be?

I was never very good at that game (or maybe it was a test) where you say what animal you would be. How do you decide that? Physical and/or personality characteristics? Habits? Lifestyle?

So if I was a cake.... I know what I wouldn't be - a fruit cake. Trust me, I can see the obvious jokes that come with that. But I do have a serious aversion for fruit cakes. At Christmas I understand... but lets say its your wedding or birthday, with all the flavours under the sun is this really going to be your first choice? For a select few, yes... and I'm sorry I'm bagging your favourite cake. If this is what someone really wanted for their cake, I would make it happily and make sure it's a fabulous one. But when theres chocolate and lemons and pineapple and apples (and, and, and, and) and light and fluffy gorgeousness out there.... is the fruit cake really it?

I think in part the answer to this is that we do (ask for) what we know, whats traditional, what we think is the right thing. Now this isn't just limited to fruit cake, if not that, its usually chocolate or lemon or banana. These are all amazing cakes... they wouldn't be so popular if they weren't tried and true stars of the cake world.

I am curious - are there some undiscovered cake stars out there? Flavours that could become staples to offer up? I have done some experimentation in the past and I think my favourite out of that was a mint angel food cake with dark chocolate ganache - like a cake version of an after dinner mint. The absolute most important thing is that any new cake MUST be exceptional to make the cut.... and from experience I can say it takes many cake experiments to end up with just one new one that will become a staple.

You might have been wondering whether this post would have me actually producing anything. So... we come to today's experiement - Mango cake! It has just come out of the oven and its probably time for a quick taste test. Stuart is my semi-impartial judge, and after a slice, I quote, 'Mmmmm'. His formal evaluation is positive... different and tasty, but the fibers from the mango do sort of look like hairs.
Me? It is tasty - the texture is excellent, but I do wish there was a stronger mango flavour. It may need some more taste testing before we know for sure if its a good-un. Here is some evidence of it all:

I have a challenge for you... If you were a cake, what flavour would you be? Take away all normal boundaries of what we think cake flavours should be and tell me what your supreme cake flavour would be? Thinking about it, maybe I'm challenging you to challenge me, because I plan on experimenting on some of the flavours that you come up with. Assuming there is interest here - post a comment with your flavour idea. Surprise me....